Finally Revealed: What People Think Of You
Are you ready for the truth? Are you sure you’re ready? Because it might surprise you to find out what people actually think in their minds, about YOU…
Well, here is the answer: NOTHING
Nothing. I’ll tell you more about this “shocking” thing in a minute. But for now, know this…
People probably can’t remember you, here is why
If you’re shy and don’t talk too much, people can’t remember anything you say or do.They have no “memory” of you. No sound, no pictures or no feelings.
Think of someone who talks a little loud and is always noticed wherever he goes. Can you remember an obvious gesture he made or a loud thing he or she said? If you can remember someone like that so easily, then now you know why people get remembered: they express themselves logically and emotionally.
That’s why you can never forget the loudest most popular people in school. They seemed to do things that you couldn’t ignore. You always knew they were “there”. On the flip side, the quiet ones, who didn’t talk to anybody are completely forgotten.
If you stay shy and quiet, nobody will remember who you are because you actually don’t SHOW,… who you are. If you want people to remember you, express yourself! Share your emotions and opinions.
Here is why people “don’t care” about your haircut, your clothes, how cool you are or anything
Guess who’s everyone’s favorite radio station? “WII FM” (What’s in it for me). Research even found that “I” is the most used word in phone conversations.
Let me ask a couple of questions: Do you find yourself wondering what people think of you? Do you find yourself trying to guess who’s criticizing or admiring you? When you choose what to wear, do you find yourself wondering what others might think of it?
Let me ask you another question :
is it possible that everyone else is just like that?
Hmm, the answer is YES. People only care about THEIR social standing and how THEY are perceived by others.
And even if they evaluate others, they do it to compare themselves. Even weirder, people tell themselves stories about how everyone else is not as cool or good as they are.
People like James Lebron, Mark Zuckerberg or Mike Tyson who accomplished GREAT things in life are perceived as “losers” or “Evil” by some people who want to feel superior.
I can share with you more weird stuff about how people think but remember this: people don’t care, and even if they do, it’s either an inaccurate judgment or a way for them to feel superior.
Is it possible that you’re coming across as Cold, Aloof and Selfish?
Now that we know a little about what people think of you as an individual, let’s talk about how you’re coming across socially.
Do you show interest in people?
People are constantly looking for ways to look better and be perceived as valuable. If you don’t show interest in them, it’s as if you’re saying “Hey, you spent years working on your social skills and perfecting the way you present yourself, but you know what? You’re not interesting, you still stink !!”
Am I saying that you need to show interest in everyone just so they don’t get angry? No.
I say that you should at least smile at people. If you’re shy, chances are, you’re not smiling at anybody. You’re too busy thinking about what people are thinking of you. You’re so focused on yourself that you’re not even smiling, talking or showing any interest in anybody. People don’t take it lightly if they repeatedly get ignored by you.
And, by merely smiling, you make them feel good, and that alone gets them to think of you as someone who is a “giver”.
If you’re shy, start smiling at people. That’s the least you can do.
Do you have an “I don’t need anybody” attitude?
We humans believe that our dependence on each other is vital. So if you ignore people, you portray a message saying “I don’t need to make friends with you because I don’t think I will ever need you”. And that enrages some people and some of them can even look for ways to sabotage you at work or in school.
If you think you can fly alone and don’t need anybody. Let me save you many years of frustration, research and reading by telling you that: you’re wrong 🙂
If you want to accomplish anything in life, or gain power, you need other people.
If you’re not giving-and-taking, sharing stories, insight, help, people will think you’re selfish. It means you keep your stuff to yourself.
If you want to live a great life, share your life with people. Make a habit of connecting with people and figuring out how YOU can help THEM. At least, you’ll find out if they deserve your time and energy.
How To Overcome Shyness
So, how do we move that cloud over you that is called shyness?
Decide to take your Social Life Seriously
How many hours in a week do you spend thinking about your social life, contacting people, going out to make new friends?
If the answer is “not many”, then you’re doing yourself a HUGE disservice.
We work our work, we work at our bodies (if we overcome our laziness) but not at our social lives. That’s how we grew up. When the weekend arrives, people think of ways to have some quick fun. Not on how to enrich their social life, meet new people, make new introductions and learn new social skills.
That’s the opportunity that we have: Learn this stuff and enjoy the “unfair advantage” that it gives: power, success, and social connection.
A technique to get you started
Here is a technique I learned and practiced successfully to get rid of hesitation and shyness. By the way, it works for the short term AND the long term. So even if you’ll use it just to get an instant result, it will also make you less shy and more confident in the future. Here you go :
- Close your eyes and imagine a “version” of you that is naturally social and has little or no shyness. No hesitation, just a smile in his face. Imagine that BOLD version of you… how does he carry his body… what type of body position and look he has…?
- Imagine that bold version of you floating in the air and getting closer to your body. Slowly, he gets integrated with your body to be a permanent part of you.
- Imagine yourself behaving boldly and confidently in a situation that used to make you feel shy. Then, imagine yourself behaving boldly in another situation. Then a third situation.
Try this now, you’ll feel the power instantly. Remember, this is an exercise to repeat EACH time you need some confidence and boldness. (before going out of the house, before meeting some new friends, before going to talk to a girl,… etc)
I share another technique on one of my articles here: How To Overcome Shyness
I wish you a lot of luck and I hope to have another opportunity to talk to you.
Have a great (social) life! 😉